From one of my infamous notes to Farwin,

"Chester, chester he's so hot!
If you don't like him, you can rot!"

God have mercy.

Excess Baggage

My dad's starting to spring clean again. I really have no idea where the bum inside me came from, since the both of my parents are such meticulous neat freaks. The fact that their daughter is such messy person must be so dissapointing.

So, I took the liberty of cleaning up a little! I've arranged my closet, by just hanging up all my clothes and rearranging the folded ones. It wasn't as cluttered up as usual so I didn't have to do much. :)

One thing we will never run out of in my house-hangers. Every colour you can imagine, we have it. I found like over twenty unused hangers just today. A few months ago, when my mum got so fed up over my closet- she cleaned the whole thing inside out and took out alomost 50 (or more) unused hangers! I came home to find my brother categorising all of them by colour.

Next thing I wanted to do was to clean out my desk. But then I realised that with all the studying I'm going to do over the month, cleaning it up wasn't the best thing to do. The books and files were still gonna pile up. (I have 10 files and counting, and I'm only taking 3 subjects). I've also been using my sister's room for studying, which isn't a very good idea as well. After the exams I would probably have to clean up TWO rooms. But whenever I find my room getting more untidy with books and papers lying over the floor, I venture over next door (where a whole new mess is arising by the minute).

So, I cleaned up my bookshelf and drawers. I found some pretty interesting things:-

• Some old high school exam papers. I wasted quite a bit of time looking through my old Add Math papers. I have forgotten how to do math. Seriously.
• Some old notebooks with a hecka lot of doodless and notes. I've found a pattern everytime I buy a notebook. The first few months, the pages would be filled with "Homework for the day" and "Goals for the week". After that it would just be stuff like Anis' attempt with writing with her left hand- A zYIs A cRackp Ot- or my doodless of swirls and those "chat sessions" we used to have during boring seminars.
• Some unsent letters, the notes we used to send to each other in school (I knew they were somewhere!). Man, these were all over the place. I put them all in an old shoebox I had. Haha. I will never be seen as deprived of sentiment again! I also found some old birthday cards as well. Inc. the one where Farwin got Keevan Raj's autograph (haha!) and the first birthday card I got from the Boi (something about a dog eating my present..).
• Old mixed tapes! From the days I was an advent listener to The Rock Show on WOW fm. It's full of songs from, System Of A Down to Disturbed. It used to help me "be alert" while studying. I haven't been in tune with my hardcore side since they took the show off the air. I remember calling up the station and the DJ used to hit on me.
• The most disturbing thing ever- A list of names I would give to my kids. From A to Z. For both boys and girls. Damn. It was all about making lists when we were bored in class. I remember making a list of all the guys we thought were hot back in Form 2. Oh god, I remember writing all this stupid poems with titles like, "Shittyness" (twas all about Anis losing her Lrt card). I remember writing this really graphic poem of all this sexual scenarios with someone-with much help from Anis again. This was back in Form 3!

This is the reason I refrain from cleaning up! Reviving all the pathetic (yet funny) things I used to do with my friends. I figured I wouldn't do much cleaning up if I kept reminiscing about all this. It also made me realise that there are so many things I don't want to throw away! So, I've stuffed them all into the shoebox. Therefore, it will be easier for me if I ever want to re-live these sad moments!

To my girlsss- growing up wouldn't be half as much fun if I had never met you people! It's hard to believe we've managed to stick together after 5 years, even after all those times we've said we were sick of each other. Yet, we still can't get enough of one another. Much love!

Going For Seconds

Some people change. I however, have found new light in the meaning behind change.

When people say someone has change for the worse or for the better, can that really be true? The word ' change' never relished in my mind for being a small transition from one end to another. If you were bad, what does changing for the better really mean? Either way, if someone has been good, does "changing for the better", really mean a change has taken place?

Change- you either don't, or you do.

But how much can a person really change? Little improvements or cracks here and there may mean something different, but to be able to change as a person? This may take a 360 degree spin.

Then again, there are people that never change, no matter how they think they have.

-----------------------------------

I was planning to meet up with an old friend of mine from primary school- we've been keeping in touch, but had never the chance to hang out while he was in town. Yesterday, he sends me a text message.

You would never guess who called me yesterday? LOL. Mr. S!

Now, if you knew my past with Mr. S and the fact that I had not seen him in ages-imagine the shock. Here I thought this person could be well off dead or alive (it didn't matter) but I sure as hell thought he was out of my life for good. I took full advantage of this situation and we arranged to meet for drinks last night, together with my friend who equally had not seen him in a while.

Mr.S. He wasn't anyone entirely special in my life, to be frank. He was not my first crush, nor my first kiss. He was the first boyfriend I ever had. However, even if he was my first boyfriend, this does not constitute that what I had with him could even be regarded as a relationship.

I was 12, for christ's sake. I knew that whatever I did at that age would not place much of an effect on my future. Mr.S had a prolonged crush on me, ever since the first day he came into our class. He confided in my best friends that he was interested in me. Ah, 6th grade. The age of beckoning hormones and tales of "crushing" and "couple-ing" (I hate this word). My dear best friends managed to persuade him to confess to me that he had feelings for me. And he did.

Imagine, a 12 year old with no prior experience to being told that someone had feelings for her.

Yep, I was baffled. I sure as hell knew that I had no feelings for him whatsoever. But the months passed with a lot of "anonymous" emails and phone calls. The constant teasing and pestering. It also helped that I was brusing the ego of a person that probably had the biggest ego in the world.
I was an innocent young thing to actually think, "Maybe if I just gave him some sort of chance, things would be okay." So, I gave him that chance.

Mind you, I was probably more interested in the fact of having a boyfriend than really caring about who he was. So, it was an obvious one-sided relationship. The teasing and pestering didn't stop either. His ego grew twice as big. And I was stuck in a primary school drama where we couldn't think of anything to say when we were alone together; it didn't help than when we tried to be alone, the whole class tagged along. It didn't help that he was insanely jealous about guys close to me; threathening even to beat one of them up. It didn't help that he made other people pass messages to me in school; but flooded by email inbox with cards and letters. I decided, having a boyfriend wasn't what I expected.

So, I got one of my friends to dump him for me.

--------------------------------------

The next few years we never really kept in touch, though he was close to some of my friends. So, I still heard about his antics here and there. In Form 3, he dated a girl in my school and told her lies about me. The next year, he asked my best friend to "patch things up" between me and him, and then when she told him I was with the Boi, he proceeded to call him a "faggot".
So, yeah, I was jumping for joy when I heard he was leaving for England.

I guess that grudge is kinda over, and I thought it'd be fun to see him again after all this time. We're all grown up now right? We're all changed one way or another.

Well, that was partly true. I waited with my friend at Starbucks, and reminisced about dear Mr.S. His floppy hair and cocky attitude. Both of us couldn't hide the excitement of seeing him, since we were both expecting some sort of big change. After all, when he spoke on the phone with my friend-it was in a hoighty-toighty accent. I gasped when I heard that- an accent on Mr. S??

So we waited. And waited. Well, we thought, at least he hasn't changed from being an ass. After almost an hour, he finally came, and what I saw is stuck in my mind till now.

He still had the floppy hair.

After getting reaccquainted, we both realised that's not all that hasn't changed. His was still his cocky usual self and he kept frowning up his face just the way it used to annoy me last time. I was so surprised by this! Was that all that had changed in you- the accent? I guess both of us were so stunned- that we didn't get to really talk about much while he was there. What was there to reminisce about when the exact same person from 6 years ago was sitting in front of you? It was like, there wasn't even a memory to be brought up.

Though, in his defense, his hair is a little shorter.

When he left, me and my friend couldn't help but burst out laughing-laughing at ourselves for being silly for thinking he would have changed (better or worse). And i quote his quote, "People either change completely or they never do."
*Sigh*

I had fun that night. I got to spend some quality time with a very good old friend (who happened to be my first kiss) and I managed to shed some light on an old myth about change.

Old friend: I haven't changed, have I?
Me: Nope! You're still good ol' you! *Hugs*
Old friend: Thank god! But even I had the decency to change my hairstyle, yeah?
Me: Amen to that.

To Mr. S, I guess you wouldn't be you if you had changed...it was good to see you again!

Falling Head First

A piece edited by Paulo Coehlo:


"One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden?
You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back.

Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.

Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else. Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.” Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are."


Frankly, I think everyone knows this. It is basic common sense to know that you can't hold on to something forever, and that you should let it go when the time comes for you to do so.

What makes letting go so hard? In my opinion, it's the fact that the experience has been etched as a part of our lives- it could be in our memory, our hearts or it could already be part of our routine. How much of an impact something has made will influence how we will be able to let go. Something trivial can be simply washed off our hands. Something with more meaning may have t0 be scrapped off till it's completely gone.

And this takes time.

However it is people see it, letting go is not a choice. No matter how you might think that you don't want to break off that grip, you also don't want to keep hanging on to something that could fall loose any second. People know they have to let go, there's no other way to it. To not want to let go would be unjustified.

But what if letting go was a choice?

Because for me, hanging on is so much more assuring than breaking free. I'd rather remember the pain than forget the pleasure.

I wish someone had been more frank with me without needing to read from an article. :(

Open Wide

A hen and a half lays an egg an a half in a day and a half

How many eggs will 2 hens lays in 3 weeks?

Answer: I don't give a rats' ass.

Yup. That was thinking skills. Although I did feel the paper was better than the trials. But then again, I confidently thought the answer would be 21 when in fact it was 28. So, fingers crossed the others will be ok...

Super Hot Female

Here's to tomorrow!

To you, the subject that has a zero degree of importance to my future as the ultimate business mogul.

I'm comin' atcha.

Watcha waiting for?

You stupid fat whore

I don't lose- I just choose not to win

Malaysia is a deprived country.

While I was in New York, not a day went by without me drinking the goodness that is;

SNAPPLE!

find out more here http://www.snapple.com/index.asp?pageid=1&contentid=1

I don't understand why these little things can't be brought into our country. For one, we FINALLY have Aero chocolates here. Usually we buy them when we're in the UK or even Australia. My dad said it has taken them almost 40 years to bring it down here.

I'm not gonna wait that long for my Snapple Lemon Tea.

"We advise drinking a Lemon Iced Tea every day at four o’clock while standing on your head. But being as you’re not a contortionist, drinking it any way will do. The subtle infusion of lemon flavor gives this tea a sweet, smooth taste that makes for a great mid-morning, mid-afternoon or mid-lobotomy refresher. When do the stitches come out?"

Another thing we're deprived off? The cheapness and absoulte gorgeousness that is;

H&M!

Find out more here http://www.hm.com/

People were happy when Topshop came down, yeah, sure. But with the conversion of prices and all, the clothes don't seem so worth it in the end. I hardly buy anything from Topshop here, when I know I could get value for my money from, H&M! So someone please bring this shop down! Prices are cheap all around the world for this store! That's their vision- runway frocks that don't cost much.

Look at http://www.forever21.com/ while you're at it- another haven.

Yes, I'm in a materialistic mood today. When even your dad doesn't understand why the answer to the question is that answer- you kinda lose hope over Thinking Skills.

So, my mind wonders.

Rip That Bandaid Off

You know I like taking these tests and quizzes. This is probably one of the most accurate results I've come across.



You are a XSYT--Expressive Sentimental Physical Taker. This makes you a Firebrand.

You are volatile, sexy and sexually driven. You're magnetic and fascinating, but you don't really enjoy playing the field -- it makes you nervous and preys on your insecurites. But when you fall for someone you fall hard.

You tend to over-analyze things, so the slightest comment or action from your significant other can send you into a tailspin. You crave attention and validation from your loved ones, so if your friends don't like your partner or your partner doesn't like your friends it makes you suffer. Unfortunately the two are often in conflict -- you have excellent insight with your friends, but in a relationship you are blind. Trust your friends!

You blow hot and cold, with big highs and big lows. This makes the bad times very bad but the good times very good, so you tend to stay in a problem relationship much longer than you should. But when a relationship fails, you hold a grudge. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but make sure your grudge doesn't cloud your vision the other way!

What would help you most in your relationships is confidence. You need someone who can help you feel good about yourself and not worse. You can be needy and jealous. Fortunately you are cute as hell.

If you would like to try this, here's the link http://hokev.brinkster.net/quiz/default.asp?quiz=Better+Relationship&page=1

The Worst Day Ever

Instead of saying something "metaphorical" for my title, I just decided to straight out say it.

It's the worst day ever. Till now since I'm safe at home :)

It started out innocently enough, woke up early to get ready for tuition.

My thoughts: *YAWN* oh fuck, I think I slept wrongly. My leg hurts. Oh shit, what's up with my hand. Ergh. My left leg and my right hand both hurt! How did that happen? Probably due to the fact I tossed and turned all night because of those damn itch things that sprouted out all over my body! Sigh. I can't believe PROFESSIONAL doctors can't figure out what the hell is wrong with my skin. Damn..no time for that. Gotta get ready.

Left the house early enough, to get to the LRT station, only to encounter the unthinkable.

My thoughts: A JAM?! You have got to be kidding me! This road is usually never congested. Oh fuck, I knew we should have taken the other way. Oh my god, we haven't moved for ten minutes! Nobody is bloody moving!What in god's name is going on? That old lady is gonna kill me! Jolene's gonna kill me. I planned to be in the train at this exact time.ERGH. Call Jolene! Call Jolene!Ok, Jolene's not there yet. We have been on this same road for half an hour! MOVE!! It's clearing! Oh lordy lord it's clearing!!Yes, yes,.....and there was nothing causing to jam?! No accidents! NO stalled cars! YOU STUPID CUNTS OF A POLICE MAN! You're there for the sole purpose to keep traffic flowing not cause it to further congest! LET US GO FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! You just have to wave your hands in the air-it's not THAT hard! Oh fuck, the road is closed!!Oh shit, I'm as good as dead. Oh yes! another LRT station here..Lemme off!!!

Managed to get to the other LRT station in one piece. The place is 15 stops away.

My thoughts: Oh man..I shouldn't have ran. Owww..you stupid leg. Should sit on this bench. Great, some mat rempit/motor is looking at me. You stupid pervs should get a friggin life. And a pair of proper pants! You think you can get girls by wearing carrot-shaped slacks? Ergh. No dude, I'm not telling you where the hell i'm heading. Can't you see I'm trying to NOT pay attention to you fugly face. Ooo..so my silence means I like you, eh? Yes, yes go ahead and snigger with your friend and ogle at me. Yes, look as I obviously walk away so that I don't have to look at you. Damnit. Should always sit with old ladies. *sigh* Where's that train? Oh yes, I just missed one while I was coming up, so it'll take a while. FABULOUS. What the fuck? Are those idiots still looking at me?You sex-starved bastards! Go screw each others brains out if you're so deprived! AH! Train's here..and it's full. greattt. MOVE YOU ASSHOLES! I'm not taking the next train! I'm in a hurry. Move you imbeciles! I did say excuse me! Ergh. Oh god, don't let this guy next to me try to rub himself against me. Please god no! Please don't let this guy wearing lipstick....oh shit! Stand closer to him, he's not gonna bother me! *sigh* Hey, his bag is kinda nice..should I tell him that? Nah, he looks freaked out enough that I'm standing close to him.

Got to Asia Jaya. Ran to Jolene's car only to be greeted by a "OHMYGOD!"

My thoughts: class is cancelled? I'm going to kill that old hag! Why the hell is she in bangsar when all her morning classes are at home? Why the hell has she been there since 8.30 when we said class was at 9. Oh man, she must be so pissed off. She might even kick us out. I guess she already told us that by saying, "go find another teacher!". What the hell am I gonna do in the middle of PJ at nine in the morning? We're here at the house and she's still not in..great. Please don't tell me we're gonna wait till she comes back. She would have been back by now, it's 9.45! I doubt she's coming back. YES! Let's go somewhere.

So me and Jolene end up in Midvalley :). We had a nice lunch and then watched The Bourne Supremacy. The movie rocked my socks. It was a nice break from staying at home for so many days that's for sure.

Ok. So maybe it has been , The Worst Half Of The Day Ever.

P.s. Yes, my thoughts are a scary place to be in. I seriously think like this.

Never Hold Grudges...Get Even Instead

The mood to study is just not here! The fact that I have to do so for over a month is just so discouraging. I guess I might as well get started on my uni apps....

*Sigh*

Staying at home is such a bore.


P.S. The quote above is from a cartoon character, Mandy on Grim & Evil. I wish I was as smartass as her.

Coldplay- The Scientist

I was just thinking of how I should start analysing and critically assessing my favourite songs.

Okay, not really critically assessing but more, talking about it. Yeah.


I guess my dad was right when he said how songs nowadays don't have any layers or aren't deep enough. (He was talking in referance to The Eagles-'Hotel California', does anyone seriously know what this song is about?)

Anyway, I guess the surface of The Scientist is pretty clear. When anyone hears this song, the memory of a past relationship resurfaces. It doesn't matter if the past love was painful or a pleasure, the song is haunting enough to make one dig up these old memories.

The chorus itself reeks like a conversation between two people:-

Person#1: Nobody said it was easy.
Person#2:Oh it's such a shame for us to part.
Person#1: Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be so hard
Person#2: I'm going back to the start.

Of course, this is all what I have in my mind. When we all know in fact, it's just him that's thinking all this.

The song embodies what it feels like when a relationship is over and done with- trying to examine the whole thing under a microscope to see what happened or what went wrong.

Albeit, The Scientist.

In a way, he is trying to explain the relationship using "scientific logics". Hoping this way, he can rectify what he had done wrong to get back with his love.

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

If you refer to my previous post, about how I discussed with a friend of the subjectivity of feelings- same goes for this.

He realises he can't use science to explain it, because love just doesn't work like that. There's no way you can measure it or place any conclusive evidence on something so open to interpretation.

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

As much as he tries to examine it, he can't. He does whatever it takes and goes back to how it all began. Again and again. Just wanting to know what went wrong.

Running in circles
Chasing tails
And coming back as we are

The music video itself very much mirrored the meaning of the song. The video experimented with the the theory of relativity- going back in time.

Just like in the song, how he goes "back in time" to solve everything.

---------------------------------

The song doesn't try to explain the outcome of what he does. Or even what he did for that matter. Instead, it concentrates on what he feels and does just at that moment. It doesn't tell a story.

It shows just how much the heart has so much more control over the mind. It's no point looking at the physical surface without taking a better look at what's inside of it.

This was my own interpretation of course..I personally think the song can be looked at in different ways.

And my dad says songs don't have meanings anymore! PFFT!

Pins and Needles

It's no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party. -- Nick Hornby, High Fidelity


If you have not read the book, well, you should.

-------------------------------------------

I have nothing against girls being the ones asking guys out or even if it's the guy doing the asking.

I hate it however, when there is no asking. Especially when there obviously should be.

I hate how people like to beat around the bush. Being straight forward is so much more attractive.

I hate it when people play hard to get. What is there to be afraid of?

What tops this all off?

When someone askes someone out very subtlely but then, realises his intentions are being so clear that he backs away and says he wasn't serious at all; this tops it off.

YOU are a coward. Letting somone know that you like them is not the end of the world.

And after all that, you still have the cheek to tell me it's the girl who should do the asking out. Well, I hope you realised, that if you were waiting for something to happen there and then, surprise!

It never came, did it?

The Feeling Of Contentment

How I love the Internet? Let me count the ways:-

1. There are so many good websites filled with Sociology notes! This is helping me so much so that I don't have to read that huge chunk of a textbook anymore! Not to mention the notes are conmprehensive and easy to understand; lots of info I can use in my essays that I didn't have before.

And err, that's it.

Yes, I am very happy and overjoyed at this fact because, (have I failed to mention?) that my textbook is 1120 pages long. And it's not a teeny tiny thick book. It's a huge thing! God forbid if it had tiny print.

I would just kill myself.


http://www.countrybookshop.co.uk/books/index.phtml?whatfor=0003275078 <--- if you wanna check out what I have to deal with.

Another thing I love, is LIBRARIES!

I love the atmosphere of being surrounded by books and all those single study tables. My high school library was absolute shit compared to college. So yes, I frequent the library almost everyday, and sometimes find myself just browsing through the dozens of referance books I can use without actually sitting down and studying. *sigh* Sometimes, I would just pick a whole stack of books to flip through and sit down and just take any relevant notes from these books for the heck of it. Then, these notes are sometimes thrown away when I sometimes realise- I have taken this notes down before!

Why do I do all this? Because it makes me feel smart!

Everybody likes to feel smart. If you say you like actually feeling stupid, you should (as my friend Priscilla would say) FUCK YOURSELF WITH A KNIFE!

Pris: She should fuck herself in the ass with a knife!
Jolene: But wouldn't that hurt?
Pris: That's the point...


You would think somebody would know you? In this case, she does.

Azy reminds me of a contented,purring cat. Irritate her and she'd snap and snap ya good. - My ex-classmate Azyan.
I still keep all your doodles and notes by the way. :)
(even though they were always prettier than the ones I gave you).

Conducting A Purpose

you got a fast car

and I want a ticket to anywhere

maybe we make a deal

maybe together we can get somewhere

any place is better

starting from zero

got nothing to lose

maybe we'll make something

but me myself I got nothing to prove

you got a fast car

and I got a plan to get us outta here

I been working at the convenience store

managed to save a little bit of money

we wont have to drive too far

just 'cross the border and into the city

you and I can both get jobs

and finally see what it means to be living

you see my old man's got a problem

he lives with the bottle that's the way it is

he says his body's to old for working

his body's young to look like his

my mama went off and left him

she wanted more to life than he could give

I said somebody's got to take care of him

so I quit school and that's what I did

you got a fast car

but is it fast enough so we can fly away

we gotta make a decision

we leave tonight or live and die this way

I remember we were driving

driving in your carthe speed so fast

I felt like I was drunk

city lights lay out before us

and your arm felt nice wrapped round my shoulder

and I had a feeling that I belonged

and I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

you got a fast car

and we go cruising to entertain ourselves

you still ain't got a job

and I work in a market as a check out gir

lI know things will get better

you'll find work and I'll get promoted

we'll move out of the shelter

buy a big house and live in the suburbs

you got a fast car

and I got a job that pays all our bills

you stay out drinking late at the bar

see more of your friends than you do of your kids

I'd always hoped for better

thought maybe together you and me would find it

I got no plans I ain't going nowhere

so take your fast car and keep on driving

you got a fast car

but is it fast enough so you could fly away

you gotta make a decision

you leave tonight or live and die this way

Tracy Chapman-Fast Car

Probably my biggest fear in life; for all my dreams to shatter right in front of me. To run away at the slightest disturbance in my life. To hide away from the world that has so much to offer.

I don't want to lose any moments in my life.

--------------------------------------

I had an interesting conversation with David last weekend. We talked about relationships and the like. We talked about feelings and he mentioned how there was nothing wrong with infatuation....

"Feelings are so subjective. It's hard to tell whether you're feeling something or not."

"But why do people try to make sure of their feelings so much?"

"Because the uncertainty is unbearable. It's the one aspect of life that contradicts itself."

No matter how I sometimes hate that he's right, I couldn't have put it better than he did.

A Disease To Be Cured

We went out for Dim Sum again.

Everytime we go there, our bill keeps getting higher and higher.

Truly frightening.

Yet, so worth it.


P.s. IELTS class today had no other words to be described with. Try imagining 3 hour classes of learning a language you've spent your whole life talking in. Was truly the pits and beyond.

These Boots Were Made For Walking

Hoho.

http://www.reuters.co.uk/newsPackageArticle.jhtml?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=6401047§ion=news

Can anyone imagine if something like that happened at our airport? I doubt it would even cause the whole airport to shut down, or any form of worry for that matter. Only because, our ("very
well trained") security personnel would fail to see what the object is. I'm prejudging of course on the fact that I think that our culture (and its people) are quite ignorant to the erm, existance of such things.

So, the next time there is a buzz from your toy, maybe you could instead pass it of as a:-

1. Prototype for the latest cell phone
2. The latest kiddie toy
3. A revolutionary alarm clock that "buzzes" instead of ringing
4. A portable body massager
5. A new type of kitchen utensil (here, no details are required. they'll probably try guessing)

Haha. Lame.

I will try coming up with more though. I found this piece of news highly amusing.

I went to eat Dim Sum again today. MMM.

yes, I skipped class to go.

teehee.

Mind Numbing

Are you mad? Don't consider anything else! Economics and business are THE BEST degrees to do at university.

YES! Seriously, I just found this out while looking up stuff to write for my personal statement.
I can now heave a sigh of relief. *SIGH*
This article I found had really good information on why economics and business are the best degrees-which I can put to good use in my personal statement. :)

*Hops up and down in joy*

This joy is shortlived.
I do not have my 6 choices yet. The more I look up information, the more choices are going down the drain...

1. Warwick- Who wouldn't give away two limbs to go here? A beautiful campus with the LATEST techie stuff. Very competitive and hard to get into though. Even my sister was rejected (she got straight A's!). I would love to try but their requirements for 4 AS level subjects is just not allowing me to. Thinking Skills is not accepted. :(

*stomps and stabs Thinking Skills*

Why didn't anyone tell me I needed Math!!??Bah!!

2. London School of Economics. I know I can apply here for my masters (something I'm planning to do) but I would like the option of going here! My dad says that London is off-limits as I know the place to well and I may get distracted. :(

3. Ditto City University.

4. Ditto Aston. But this is because it's in Birmingham. Is it that bad? I've never been there but everyone's telling me not to go here. ( too many paki's apparently *shrug*)

So, I have:-
Manchester
Nottingham
Reading
Cardiff (might as well)

TWO MORE! JUST TWO!!!!!! ERGH!!! I can't stand it anymore!!!I just wanna go there now!!!!

So now I am looking at how to write my personal statement. It's pretty funny how they have articles like; How to impress universities and sell yourself.

Nice.

I gotta get all this done by November AND study at the same time.

Curse you A Levels!!

I need a drink. And a shag.

Irony At Its Best

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

Hobbies cost money but interests are free.

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

I don't like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions.

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? (you gott catch this one)

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?

Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.


Aaaah~ Nothing like good ol' irony to lighten up ones day. I'm just not in the mood to study anymore. It's been a hectic week and it's gonna get even busier. October 12th is my last day of college before AS finals and i'll be on leave for almost a month and a half! Socio is the last of the last papers; on the 24th of November. What sucks is that the next day we have to go back to school, though I doubt i'll even be home that night :).

My mum insisted I still go for the IELTS classes even though I told her it was absolutely unneccessary. She was being so goddamned unreasonable! I just felt like screaming at her that my sister skipped all the workshop classes and managed of with a really high score (8.0 out of 9.0) . But I didn't, because I figured I'll do it when my dad comes back this Sunday.

So, I checked the schedule today and it isn't half bad. Four days in a row for 3 hours each day. Yes, may seem a lot but compared to a stretch of 3 month classes exclusively on weekends, this seems much lighter. Plus, I can sit for the test that weekend straight away with Jolene and I'd get it over with sooner. Also with ample time for my studies as my paper only starts on the 25th. The classes start on the 11th, meaning two of the days I would be on holiday, so I have a lot of free time.

I have finished 3/4 of the class pages. One page is fully done (thanks to the most talented artist in the world- EILEEN!!) and it turned out so good! We decided the coloured page should be a photo collage, and it helped that the pictures we took turned out really well. Thanks to Eileen's handywork, it is a masterpiece! The other black and white page would have everyone's comments and whatnot. A more personal page on what everyone thinks of the class. Last minute work certainly does pay off!

Thank you Eileen for resisting the temptations to go off shopping at Pyramid! Yes, that took a lot of self-control..hahaha.

Goals for the weekend:-

*work on Personal Statement. (at least work out the draft man..)
*practice writing on UCAS form
*before doing that, make final 6 choices of UNI!
*Do Sociology past year essays, at least 2 of them
*Do Economics essays, work out structure and do MCQ
*Study for Accounts-test on TUESDAY! bah!
*Read Thinking Skills (bleh..) and do homework

Hmm. At the rate I'm going out now (being a huge lazy ass), it wouldn't be a surprise if I didn't get even half of these things done.

p.s. I MISS HIMMMMMMMMMMMM. *hugs pillow tight*

p.p.s Jolene and I had a conversation on what we both missed out of our ex's, which was made even more interesting when Eileen joined the conversation to bring in her own "opinions". Watch out boys, women do talk. Even about THAT. Yes, THAT. ;)