To The Dogs

Relationships now have fallen into the category of mediocrity. And I'll be damned if I was taken along for the ride. I believe that romance is dead. Either that, or just way overrated.

People are getting together just for novelty's sake-caught up in the idea of romance and thinking that it's always like how it is in the books. Or just plain ol' superficiality-having someone you could call a boyfriend/girlfriend so you don't lose out on the whole dating game.

What happened to passion? Does no one have any sexual chemistry nowadays? Where is all the electricity you feel when you're attracted to someone?

Am not trying to sensationalise the idea of passion, but it seems people have forgotten how important a certain degree of "can't keep my eyes-hands-lips of you" is. It's easy to like someone, and these feelings are so fickle that I guess some people mistake it for being something more. That's when the use of a good dictionary comes in (Re. previous posts). I hear of people complaining of being bored with their partners and I don't understand why. Before I start something with someone, I make a mental checklist, namely asking if I can see myself snogging this guy in the future.

Simple things.

I know passion can fizzle out in the long term. But that's how you know if things are for real. Sure you might have so many things in common; family and friends all approve and even your star signs confirm you're compatible-but in the end, it all boils down to pure chemistry and just the "click" of things.

That's why I've put the song lyrics to Third Eye Blind's "Deep Inside Of You" below. Everytime I listen to it, I think just how perfect something like that would be. It's not obsession, but just mind-numbing, insatiable passion between two people. It's special because it's rare.

And I don't want to call you
But then I want to call you
'Cuz I don't want to crush you
But I feel like crushing you


"Pick me up as I kick and scream, drag me into the bedroom and lock the door." Give me passion over romance any day of the week.

Slide of her dress

Shouts in darkness,

I'm so alive

I'm deep inside of you

You said, "boy make girl feel good"

But still, deep inside

Still

Head Hurts

Contemplating if I should go out tonight. But, it's, (groan) Atmosphere.

Feng Tau alert. I can picture all my guy classmates doing that stupiddd shuffling thing. I'll be sitting in one corner with a bemused look on my face and not wanting to dance because I HATE THAT KIND OF MUSIC.

I am such a sour puss, I know. But if me no likey, me no likey. So, stuff it if I don't get my way.

Maybe will just go this once...

I saw CUTE CUTE BOI just now as I was walking out of Subang Square to Shaun's car. He was walking out from the mosque.

Bloody hell. (Jo! He's religious! Haha!)

Chris says my taste in guys has just been so whack lately. He says that only because he's a racist fucker.

Me: I don't like white guys.
Chris: Yeah, she definitely doesn't.

O.O Idiot.

Edit: Not going. Forgot have tuition at 8.30 a.m tomorrow. %*&^%$%. Can hear the ringing of "FFK!!!" in my ears. :(

One Way Street

I know I complain about things being so monotonous at times,but, right now- I'm enjoying the routine of things. No terribly big ups or downs. Just simple stability for me now and it's all good.

Apologies for lack of updates. Writer's block :). Just don't have as much time on my hands these days to type down my thoughts.

Will be brief:-

* Have finished 2 books. Belle De Jour's Intimate Adventures of A London Call Girl is one of them. A bit of a rip-off actually-since it's all the same stuff she had written on her blog, with a bit more details here and there. Secondly, have finally picked up and finished The Rule of Four. Not as superficial as The Da Vinci Code, though not as fast moving. It took me a while to finish it-but a good read!

* UK University fees are craaazzzy. Reading sent me the official lowdown plus the estimated amount for fees, living expenses and whatnot; ₤17000 per year. Bejeezus. And Reading's a friggin village! And the extra expenses are so high?! My course itself is around ₤8000+. My dad had a bit of mini-stroke. He went through all the propectuses of the unis I applied to after that. He gleefully told me that Nottingham had a really beautiful building in its campus and proudly pointed to the picture. It was the Malaysian campus building. Hrmph.

* Ms. Sally asked me and few others to give a pep talk to a couple of juniors from her class. Ergh. Dropped many hints that they would be hearing a lot of the word "self-study" over the next couple of months. :/

*I am not used to "taking things slow". Am going mental.

*I seemed to have saved up quite a lot of money. Will reward myself with a shopping spree this weekend and get some good shoes. Didn't come back with any from Dubai, whilst my mum bought 4.

Econs test tomorrow. Will go study for it now.


p.s I want Mario Vazquez to be the next American Idol.

And Another One..

The University of York, Y50
N200
Oct 05
Conditional offer
21 Feb
Obtain grades ABB at Advanced Level in 3 subjects.
You have been assessed as Overseas for fee purposes

Another rousing round of YEE-HAWS. I have also just receieved my formal acceptance from Reading, which came with the course and fee details, and also the booklet of the halls of residence.

Only 5 have en-suite bathrooms. Bugger.

Anyways, I need to fulfill the requirements of an en-suite bathroom- 3 A's first. *Sigh*



Download recommend : Stigmatized-The Calling

I believe in you...
Even if no one understands

Alex Band's voice is orgasmic.

I want to dance. Someone take me out.

My daddy's afraid of me going to Zouk. The Jawi raid a couple of weeks ago has made everyone a little edgy. Stupid fucks.

But, I am terribly bored. I have trials in about a month's time and I guess I should start working on it.

I "guess". Geez.

For The Record

If I had a dick, Blogspot would be sucking it right now. My post is gone!

Oh well.

The gist is this. I'm browsing through my music playlist, downloading some new songs and listening to some old ones. I got to thinking, what songs would sum up the "soundtrack for my life"? I remember bringing up the idea with a friend of mine a while ago, but I was refrained from doing so. As he explained, "Don't do it if you know what's good for you."

Whatever.

BUT, I guess the fact that I'm not in my 'prime' and am only 18 years young, making that sort of thing would be a little premature. Don't you hate it when these pop groups who've only been around for like, 5 years make greatest hits albums? Greatest hits albums should only be made when you've put on 20 pounds, have a receeding hairline and your fanbase is going through mid-life crisis. It's only appropriate.

I love that music evokes all sorts of emotions and brings back so many memories. Good or bad, it's nice to be able to remember a certain moment in your life just by listening a song.

For example, ironic though true, I was listening to Jimmy Eat World's "Bleed American" during the September 11th incident. :/

Here's the lyrics of a song I have not heard for a while till now. FLASHBACK: April, 2003

You called yesterday to basically say
That you care for me
But that you're just not in love
Immediately, I pretended
To be feeling similarly
And led you to believe I was OK
To just walk away from the one thing
That's unyielding and sacred to me

Well, I guess I'm trying to be
Non-chalant about it
And I'm going to extremes
To prove I'm fine without you
But in reality
I'm slowly losing my mind
Underneath the guise of a smile
Gradually, I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel
And I lie convincingly
'Cause I don't want to reveal
The fact that that I'm suffering
So, I wear my disguise
'Til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights
And then I break down and cry

So, what do you do
When somebody you're devoted to
Suddenly just stops loving you
And it seems they haven't got a clue
Of the pain that rejection
Is putting you through
Do you cling to your pride
And sing "I Will Survive"
Do you lash out and say
"How dare you leave this way"
Do you hold on in vain
As they just slip away

I remember listening to this song and it seemed like the lyrics were literally pouring out from my very own thoughts. People would ask me how I was and I'd tell them, "Listen to this song". Knowing me, it's usually very deep songs with subliminal and vague messages that get me all emotional-so this song is different in its own way to me.

One for the soundtrack?

The University of Reading, R12
N100
Oct 05
Conditional offer
15 Feb

GCE A level Grades ABB
any order in
Economics
Accounting
Sociology

Provide a satisfactory copy of IELTS certificate
Please provide a satisfactory financial guarantee

Say it with me now, YEE-HAW! It's my first offer and am pleased. Quite like the idea of Reading, it would probably be my 4th choice out of all the 6 though.

Will post more later!

This and That

I guess I'm reading too much into the littlest thing.

But, tell me this; if it's something so simple, why can't you say it to my face?

I am a big girl, you know.

----------------------------

Dubai was great, but could have been greater if we had more days. I didn't shop as much as I'd like to but I did get some good stuff.

The new baby in my life namely, my plum Guess handbag.

PLUM! Now how many can say they have it in that colour? PLUM LEATHER WITH A CHAIN ATTACHED no less. :D Happy happy joy joy.

Plus, it was winter there and it was actually cold! I dressed for summer! It's the friggin desert. Who would've thunk that it'll actually be cold and windy?

Am tired now. College tomorrow!

Turn It Up

If I could choose to have a super power-please give me the gift of being able to read minds.

Does anyone else think about how sexy eating can be? It's such an underestimated form of seduction. There's nothing more that can draw attention to your lips. The sexiest food? Most definitely fruits.

Think about it.

Off to Dubai on a EARLY Sunday morning. Early and Sunday morning just do not go hand in hand. Actually, Sunday and morning don't go hand in hand either.

It will be the GREAT SHOPPING FESTIVAL in Dubai. Though, more known as the GREAT TRAFFIC JAM to locals. Haha! Will definitely shop my arse off.

Turrah! Much love!

GONG XI FA CAI! Damn, will be missing out on the new year. Will compensate by eating Mandarin oranges now.

Vein Popping

I don't admit to being a pessimist. Basically it's because I don't believe I am one.

Some people think it's a way of acting so that you're always prepared for shit to happen. It hinders you from setting high goals because you know that you may get your hopes up. I guess to a certain point, it makes you able to face reality ( the harsh, non rose-tinted version, anyway).

I think that's a whole lotta bullshit.

Sure a whole lot of things can go wrong (and have) in my life, but I remain optimistic. It's not about thinking that everything is peachy keen and perfect. It's more of knowing that everything will be alright. NOT perfect, but just fine.

It keeps me motivated. I set many goals for myself and I remain optimistic about it because that's the only way I will strive and make an effort to get myself there. The hope that I may actually reach these goals gets me going.

Hope gets us all going. It's the one thing that's actually making us bother waking up every morning.

Don't give me that bullshit about knowing my limits. Don't tell me that there are just some things that I can't get. Don't laugh at me and tell me that I'm trying too hard.

Unlike you, at least I AM trying. Unlike you, I'm not weak.

Ladies and gentlemen, stop thinking that your life has ended just because of the smallest things. (This girl I heard on the radio was whining about how she fought with her boyfriend and wanted the DJ to play a special song. She sounded at least 13! What the hell?).

You think life sucks? Then stop bitching and actually do something about it.

P.s. Mr Brightside has started being played on Hitz. fm. *Sigh* Another one of my faves is all whored up now.

Stuck In The Closet?

My day will be summed up with:-

Watching porn on someone's cell phone at 8 in the morning.

Phasing out during Economics lecture. I swear, I think of the most 'dumb-blonde' things during my econs class.

Socio teacher on leave. *Confetti strewn in the air* What else? Eat, of course.

Realised I wouldn't be eating anything at home till dinner time. Went to eat again!

Felt like a pig during Accounts class. Pretended to know what was going on, when in fact, I just don't.


Geez. These couple of days have been pretty draining. Please pray for me as I face another round of my impending doom tomorrow. I really, really do like the idea of people with banners with encouraging words!

By the way, David Tee is gay. As GAY as the day is LONG.


I want to talk to him. But I don't know what to say. The girls and I are contemplating to just start dating girls. ERGH!Eileen gave me a little preview of what she'll be the most excited about,

*shlurp..shlurp*

That's it. I'm sticking with dicks.