Going For Seconds

Some people change. I however, have found new light in the meaning behind change.

When people say someone has change for the worse or for the better, can that really be true? The word ' change' never relished in my mind for being a small transition from one end to another. If you were bad, what does changing for the better really mean? Either way, if someone has been good, does "changing for the better", really mean a change has taken place?

Change- you either don't, or you do.

But how much can a person really change? Little improvements or cracks here and there may mean something different, but to be able to change as a person? This may take a 360 degree spin.

Then again, there are people that never change, no matter how they think they have.

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I was planning to meet up with an old friend of mine from primary school- we've been keeping in touch, but had never the chance to hang out while he was in town. Yesterday, he sends me a text message.

You would never guess who called me yesterday? LOL. Mr. S!

Now, if you knew my past with Mr. S and the fact that I had not seen him in ages-imagine the shock. Here I thought this person could be well off dead or alive (it didn't matter) but I sure as hell thought he was out of my life for good. I took full advantage of this situation and we arranged to meet for drinks last night, together with my friend who equally had not seen him in a while.

Mr.S. He wasn't anyone entirely special in my life, to be frank. He was not my first crush, nor my first kiss. He was the first boyfriend I ever had. However, even if he was my first boyfriend, this does not constitute that what I had with him could even be regarded as a relationship.

I was 12, for christ's sake. I knew that whatever I did at that age would not place much of an effect on my future. Mr.S had a prolonged crush on me, ever since the first day he came into our class. He confided in my best friends that he was interested in me. Ah, 6th grade. The age of beckoning hormones and tales of "crushing" and "couple-ing" (I hate this word). My dear best friends managed to persuade him to confess to me that he had feelings for me. And he did.

Imagine, a 12 year old with no prior experience to being told that someone had feelings for her.

Yep, I was baffled. I sure as hell knew that I had no feelings for him whatsoever. But the months passed with a lot of "anonymous" emails and phone calls. The constant teasing and pestering. It also helped that I was brusing the ego of a person that probably had the biggest ego in the world.
I was an innocent young thing to actually think, "Maybe if I just gave him some sort of chance, things would be okay." So, I gave him that chance.

Mind you, I was probably more interested in the fact of having a boyfriend than really caring about who he was. So, it was an obvious one-sided relationship. The teasing and pestering didn't stop either. His ego grew twice as big. And I was stuck in a primary school drama where we couldn't think of anything to say when we were alone together; it didn't help than when we tried to be alone, the whole class tagged along. It didn't help that he was insanely jealous about guys close to me; threathening even to beat one of them up. It didn't help that he made other people pass messages to me in school; but flooded by email inbox with cards and letters. I decided, having a boyfriend wasn't what I expected.

So, I got one of my friends to dump him for me.

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The next few years we never really kept in touch, though he was close to some of my friends. So, I still heard about his antics here and there. In Form 3, he dated a girl in my school and told her lies about me. The next year, he asked my best friend to "patch things up" between me and him, and then when she told him I was with the Boi, he proceeded to call him a "faggot".
So, yeah, I was jumping for joy when I heard he was leaving for England.

I guess that grudge is kinda over, and I thought it'd be fun to see him again after all this time. We're all grown up now right? We're all changed one way or another.

Well, that was partly true. I waited with my friend at Starbucks, and reminisced about dear Mr.S. His floppy hair and cocky attitude. Both of us couldn't hide the excitement of seeing him, since we were both expecting some sort of big change. After all, when he spoke on the phone with my friend-it was in a hoighty-toighty accent. I gasped when I heard that- an accent on Mr. S??

So we waited. And waited. Well, we thought, at least he hasn't changed from being an ass. After almost an hour, he finally came, and what I saw is stuck in my mind till now.

He still had the floppy hair.

After getting reaccquainted, we both realised that's not all that hasn't changed. His was still his cocky usual self and he kept frowning up his face just the way it used to annoy me last time. I was so surprised by this! Was that all that had changed in you- the accent? I guess both of us were so stunned- that we didn't get to really talk about much while he was there. What was there to reminisce about when the exact same person from 6 years ago was sitting in front of you? It was like, there wasn't even a memory to be brought up.

Though, in his defense, his hair is a little shorter.

When he left, me and my friend couldn't help but burst out laughing-laughing at ourselves for being silly for thinking he would have changed (better or worse). And i quote his quote, "People either change completely or they never do."
*Sigh*

I had fun that night. I got to spend some quality time with a very good old friend (who happened to be my first kiss) and I managed to shed some light on an old myth about change.

Old friend: I haven't changed, have I?
Me: Nope! You're still good ol' you! *Hugs*
Old friend: Thank god! But even I had the decency to change my hairstyle, yeah?
Me: Amen to that.

To Mr. S, I guess you wouldn't be you if you had changed...it was good to see you again!