Retail Therapy Will Save My Life

In the mean time, I have no money, so excuse me as I go insane!
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
 
I need to shop SOoOoO badly. It hurts I tell ya.
 
My aunt and cousins are arriving this Thursday. Wee! Have not seen my cousins in FOUR years. Sheesh. I wanna take 'em everywhere, because this time Auntie Aini really wants them to actually visit touristy-type places. That, and I want to take them shopping and clubbing. Glee!
 
*Sigh* Unfortunately, I will most likely not be joining in the fun as I have my fucking trials. Bah. Such a mood killer. Not to mention my mother's hounding on my back on how I would have to "properly" divide my time between the two, the books and my cousins.
 
Shouldn't family come first?

If You Can't Leave It Be...

Nope. I have not asked him yet. Sigh. He has gone to Johor for the weekend. Some misunderstanding and forgotten phone calls left me in a dire and pissed state. When he confirmed he was going to Johor on Friday, I managed to keep my cool for a moment.

Until I couldn't take it and sent him a text message clearly pointing out I was pissed and dissapointed without using any of those words.

I am just so tired of bothering. Really. He may not mean it but hell, it hurts my feelings. Why can't he give a damn as well? As usual, I threw the ball back into his court and sent him an apolegetic message last night (without using the word sorry) and hopefully he gets it. I will most probaly text him later tonight to ask if he's home yet. And if he is, will proceed to call him and pretend nothing happened but have a pleasant conversation and finally say our goodbyes.

Then, I will move on with my fucking life.


The next few weeks will be my "friends time", I just need to move on again. Have plans to go shop till we drop with Ka next week. Clubbing sessions when the rest get back. A Japanese buffet with Jian. More shopping trips with college friends. Cousins are coming down to, so I expect things will be moving quickly along. Trials coming up too, and I am really motivating myself (i hope). UCAS form has to filled up for the next few months. Research, choices to be done. Scary yes, but in a way, exciting.

I'm lucky this college life has given me so many things to be busy about.


edit: The Editorial Board positions have been filled up (i think)! Bloody hell! Thanks for telling the rest of us unexperienced people we were automatically rejected in favour of people who had nothing to do but brag and race up for extra-curiculur activities so it can pretty up their already filled to the max testimonials and not letting us normal people who don't give a fuck about testimonials but would want the experience to work on an ed board.
Fuckers. Extra activity shit don't count anymore..that's right! It doesn't fucking count.
Ergh. If that budget kid got in I'll kill myself.

Their loss.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

OH YES! YES YES YES YES YES!
 
Blogger has finally let us techonologically-challenged people colour and change our fonts!
 
woohoo! how marvy marvy marvy!
 
give me some time to get used to it though...*fiddles around*

Thoughts Before Me

You gave me that little something. That little ray of hope. That little feeling that everything will be okay. You showed me that I was so much more than who I thought I was. I was someone in your eyes. You made me feel special. You made me FEEL. I found the most unexpected thing in the most unexpected person. I felt safe. I felt secure. I felt absolutely contented. You made everything so easy for me. Everything was right.

So maybe you didn't let me get to keep all of that.
At least you let me keep the most precious thing you ever gave me..
Letting me be myself.


I don't know what is going on with us. As much as I try to think about it, the answer just doesn't seem to exist. I do know this, I don't want to keep falling back on you. I want to move on. To not dwell on what we're doing anymore. I want us to focus on the present.
I don't want to lose myself in you anymore.

Perhaps I will tell you all of this one day. I just don't know when it will come.


Dashboard Confessionals- Vindicated
Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye

And roped me in
So mesmerized and I'm so hypnotized
And I am vindicated

{Chorus}
I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along

And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intentions
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of it has caught my eye
And rendered me so isoloated
I'm so motivated
I am certain now that

{Chorus}

So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away (3x)
So let me slip against the current and let me slip away

{Chorus}

Slight hope
It dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption


For once, I want to be selfish, and get what I really want.

Droppin' Like Flies

The University of Blogging Presents to azy An Honorary Bachelor of Comment Spam Majoring in Cutting Signed Dr. GoQuiz.com ®

Username:

Blogging Degree
From Go-Quiz.com


Yes, I am highly amused how people can just come up with quizzes like this! Amazing! Type in your name and you get instant quiz results.
0.0
Oh well, beats the hell out of answering a whole load of questions(which I still do find very fun).

What happened today?
Accounts. Socio. Break. Went to eat. Service at mamak stalls suck. Econs. Was already falling aseleep.
Thinking Skills. Ate(notice a pattern here). Bought wonderful watermelon sago. Sat in park. Went for Ed Board interview. Came home.

Oh man, I think it was a waste of time going for the ed board interviews. I was really hoping I would get to do that as an extra-curricular activity but it seems like the people who will get in are all that are experienced. The second I mentioned I didn't have any experience, the teacher seemed to want to dismiss of me quickly. Some dude that was in the same time kept telling how he had experience in writing out budget reports!
What-fucking-ever dude.

But, I'd reallllly like to write and report for it. I've never actually been given a chance to just, well, WRITE. Essay competitions and stuff yeah, but, I want to be ASKED to actually write. I like to be given tasks to do, and feeling satisfied once it's done.
God, it's so silly. But yeah, that's how I feel. The only time I can get to actually freely write using my own words is through this blog. I don't know why I don't write in diaries anymore since that's all I ever did do last time.
*sigh* The novelty of actually penning down my thoughts has long gone I guess.

Now, it's time for super technology blogging!

Your Icecream Flavour is... French Vanilla!

You're a smooth and silky suave type! You exude class and you believe in tradition. A classical taste who doesn't like things to be too flashy or showy. Climb the Eiffel tower of taste with a spoonfull of you! Oui Oui!

What is your Icecream Flavour?

Find out at Go Quiz


wee! my fav!

Damn. I miss him.

On The Bright Side, She Could Choke..

I can't stand accounts. All the limited companies and shares shit is making me lose my mind.
Bad enough my lecturer's incredibly blur.
Bad enough that my tuition teacher thinks she's such a know-it-all.

I fucking hate accounts.

*Breathes*

Meanwhile, I really like this song..

Dashboard Confessionals- Hands Down

Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep
This air is blessed, you share with me
This night is wild, so calm and dull
These hearts they race from self-control
Your legs are smooth as they graze mine
We're doing fine, we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
So won't you kill me, so I die happy
My heart is yours to fill or burst
to break or bury, or wear as jewelery
Whichever you prefer

The words are hushed lets not get busted,
just lay entwined here undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions..
"Hey did you get some?"
"Man, that is so dumb."
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close
they can't hear, so we can get some.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
So won't you kill me, so I die happy
My heart is yours to fill or burst
to break or bury, or wear as jewelery
Which ever you prefer

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo
The dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair
That you twirled in your fingers
And the time on the clock when we realized it was so late
And this walk that we shared together
The streets were wet and the gate was locked
So I jumped it and let you in
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
And you kissed me like you meant it
And I knew, that you meant it
That you meant it, that you meant it
And I knew that you meant it, that you meant it



*Sigh*
God, I'm such a romantic sap.

Destination Anywhere

I just found out there's an art gallery at CC.
How did I know?
Because the boy and I were so desperate to find a place to make out we ended up going in there. Yes, we are THAT sad and THAT horny.
The whole time we were with his friend, we had to be contented to playing footsie until he left. After that, we spent almost an hour just wondering around trying to "relieve" ourselves. Movies were all sold out too.
And that's where we saw it - the art gallery.
Showcasing german arts and prints.

Is that how sexually deprived I am? I'm not up and at em' all the time when he's in Melbourne. My sexual appetite only comes back when he's around, and when I remember how good a kisser he is.

But, there were too many surveillance cameras in the gallery. Bummer.

College was pretty normal today. Chris's psychotic girlfriend needed a ride back home. Her house was out of the way, but scared out of my wits if she threw a tantrum (yes, she does do that) or did anything else out of anger (she slapped him for god's sakes) I reluctantly obliged.
Five minutes later, her dad calles saying he can pick her up.

I am actually doing my homework. Just giving up when I really have no clue how to bloody do it. But I'm so god damned tired these days it's frightening. I can sleep from 4 till dinner and still be tired after that, and sleep till the next morning.

What is wrong with me???

How to make a Azy

Ingredients: 3 parts intelligence 3 parts silliness 3 parts joy

Method: Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of caring

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com





Ooh! I like that. I don't know how accurate it is, but if I had to be some sort of drink, it wouldn't matter what kind of drink it was, it had to have a little umbrella in it.

Today, my parents went for the Parents-Teachers Meeting at college. Had quite positive comments. Not so much from my accounts teacher though. Haha. Wasn't expecting anything good from him, but he was surprised to find out I was originally in the science stream.

"Oh, she can catch up ah!"

*Sigh* I may not listen in his class, but I think he's quite a character. Even my dad was mimicing him.
Oh well, I know what I have to do to get what I want now. So, my parents haven't been to titchy. Correction: parenT. Mum even asked Mr. Wong if he could seperate me and Eileen.
0.0

We had Azreen's Khatam Al-quran thingie today. God damn, it was long. We were an hour late but they hadn't even finished. It ended an hour later. I was falling asleep.

When I get married, I'll just do the traditional wedding ceremony (minus the religious bullcrap) and have a wedding reception with just dinner and dancing. No 500 guests or VIP's. Just family and friends and DANCING! A second cousin of mine did a dinner reception with dancing. Before that was the droning speeches and all sorts of melodrama. But after the guests had gone, the band started playing all those 50-60's Malay songs, the ones you "joget" too. Every family member went to dance and it was so fun seeing my granduncles and grandaunts joining in. The fact that it was nearly one in the morning didn't seem to register in their heads.

Weddings should be fun family affairs. No glitz, glamour or showing off what your family can afford to do. It's sad how weddings have become so commercialized. Every time we get a wedding invitation, it seems so unbearable to get off our assses and attend.

Weddings should be FUN.

The After Dinner Payback

There are only certain times i regret not learning how to drive.
These times are VERY few.
Today, for instance, I realised I hadn't seen my best friend, Jian in a while..

"Want to go for dinner?"
"Ok, where?"
"Pizza Unolah"
"Ok! How to go ah?"
"I donnolah"

Damn pathetic I say. We decided to go for some coffee after dinner instead and she came up with the perfect plan to get Kelvin (who has been her driver for the past few weeks) to join us, of course, under the pretence of enjoying a drink with two girls.
Nyuk Nyuk.

An hour later..
"Aiyo, he's tired lah"

*smacks head* There aren't people around to drive us even! Mucho sad.


And where the hell did giving your other half food nicknames ever get started? E.g sweetie pie, honey bun..
I mean, why not call someone, "roast rack of lamb"? Hell, that tastes a million times better than a dang honey bun. I'd rather be called something tastier.

I'd better go do something productive with myself before I lose my mind. Hmmmmm.....
*look at Blog title*