Blast Off

Econs 4 is over and done with! It was a total wave of relief and the end of the paper. Only one more big big major major paper left which is Accounts which I have 6 days left to do something about. 6 days=lots of time. So I'm just gonna lepak my ass off tonight first. Woohoo.

Econs wasn't too bad because I was fearing the absolute worst especially after the whole wasteland of Sociology. I was completely blank at the free market question because I couldn't remember what the hell a free market was! I figured, no government or something(?) which was partially true but anyway, I screwed that one up. Oh well.

I went to watch Star Wars just now. Hayden is sex on legs-enough said. Chris "I watched it twice so I could jack off twice to the sight of Hayden" text messaged me right after the movie was over. Nice timing!

Chris: I bet you had your fingers in your pussy the whole time you watched the movie right?
Me: How did you know??

Pffft. Wanna go watch with me again? It'll be a hat trick for you! :P

I've been getting all this missed calls from weird ass numbers and everytime I call back, no one picks up. I figure it's probably a public phone, since it's not a handphone number. I don't like calling back handphone numbers I don't know. Blah, it's pissing me off.

I didn't see any pretty espadrilles just now, so I have to look around more.

I finally checked out Bell X1, after being recommended to them by Hish. I loikeee.

Brain has turned into absolute MUSH due to end of econs paper.

May I introduce you to..my dad.

While watching American Idol, when those two chicks were singing with Babyface,

Dad: Hey, the guy in the middle can sing. How come he got kicked out?
Me: Daddy, that's Babyfacelah!
Dad: Oh! No wonder. But if he joined American Idol he would win...

Aiyoh. O_o

chasing my own tail

I want to rant and moan and drone on about a lot of things on this blog. I have nothing wrong with people writing about their personal lives on blogs- the internet is a public domain. It's a personal choice if you choose to let people have a glimpse into your life. Why else would you set up a blog in the first place? Even if you do set up some sort of private blog-you're still letting a certain amount of people to view it.

That's what it's all about. It's not like one of those personal diaries you write in. The reason you actually hid those things in your underwear drawer was so that no one could read it.

But, by giving your life a URL you're taking that risk of letting people find out what you're all about. Your views are there wide open for the world to see. And with that, people may not always see the world as you do.

Step up to the plate. You're the one that set up a PUBLIC journal. Don't bitch when people voice out their own opinions. They have a right to, just as you do in publishing whatever you want on the internet.

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It's funny that I hold that thought in my head when I find myself censoring my own feelings. There's so much more I want to say sometimes but I just find myself holding back. It's conflicting- I put up this blog as some sort of channel for my thoughts. But now, I find myself writing mere ramblings and vague song lyrics that are masking what I'm actually thinking about at that time.

It's like i'm fighting with myself. It's so wrong. I haven't come to the point where I feel this blog is some sort of obligation and I have to update for the sake of it. Thank god. But it's just so wrong where I don't even feel comfortable writing my own personal thoughts onto my own personal blog!

...I think I know what it is. I've been there. The whole blog war thing. It didn't concern my blog but I was part of the whole conflict with other people's blogs. It's damaging. I've seen worse definitely- but finding out things over the internet ( on someone's own personal site for that matter) rather than face to face. Well, it fucks you up.

I don't want to fuck people up. At the same time, I feel I have the right to say what I want, this is my own site, I've let it be public.

So how? *Sigh* At least this post has been all about what I'm feeling right now. Just other things in my head that I want to just rant about but I don't want to cause further aggravation. Let's just say, when people find things out-it all goes downhill from there baby.


oh, socio paper sucked by the way.

Materialistic Wants 2

I want ESPADRILLES!

I need a sugar daddy. Tee hee.

Steve Madden 'Bommbay' Wedge Espadrille 

Ralph Lauren satin 'Silvana' espadrilles 

they will see us waving from such great heights,
"come down now," they'll say
but everything looks perfect from far away,
"come down now,"
but we'll stay...

Such Great Heights- The Postal Service

I'm FREAKING OUT. I'm SCARED. ERGGGGHHHHHH.

But after this, it's goodbye to sociology forever! It's going to be orgasmic.

So i'll look forward to that. In the mean time, it's back to secularization.

In need of any sort of intervention, please?

Azy's about to short-circuit any moment now. I really wish I would though-just blow up into little itty bitty pieces and be blown away by the wind. Just scattered all over the place. Actually, that's what I'm feeling like right now. Scattered. I don't feel like I'm all here for some reason.

A little voice is saying, too many things in your mind.

I feel effing vulnerable to be exact. And it's not very good. It's at times like this that people can just walk all over me and I wouldn't mind. I'll even give them the red carpet treatment. I just don't feel like making the effort to say what's really on my mind and be all opinionated. It's so taxing. My "poker-face" is going to be a temporary fixture at the moment. Bear with it.

I sent an unflattering picture of my exboyfriend to Jo for laughs and she sent me a very sweet reply. :) Hehe. Paint program and girlfriends are a godsend. Thank you for making me feel like I wasn't THE ONLY ONE. Haha.

Ey. David making me more depressed by making me listen to some sad love song now.

Now, it's some French song. Hmmmpphh.

I'll end this with, I WANT TO WATCH STAR WARS AND SEE HAYDEN COVERED IN LAVA. (Chris said it was really hot-no pun intended)

Reflecting In Your Eyes

MY HEADPHONES JUST BROKE.

My lifeline has just been cut off.

What am I going to do now? *stares at broken headphone pieces*

Oh well. *plugs back in big-ass speakers*

:)

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Me and Christopher agree that Hayden Christensen is hot and we would both like very much to hump him. Seperately.

Okay, so he didn't say about the humping part but I know he wants to get it onnn with him. Don't deny it.

I am happy happy tonight. So, don't rain on my parade.

This Is How It Is

Piles of books strewn over my study table. Piles of books strewn over the table next to the computer. Notes, files, pens, coloured pens and highlighters strewn everywhere as well.

Flipping through textbooks. Flipping through dozens of files. Flipping through my notes.

Misplacing certain notes and wasting time going through every nook and cranny looking for them. Looking for files to put more stuff in. Organizing loose pieces of paper that I find whilst looking for my lost notes.

Lugging CDs from my room to the computer room. Looking for CDs I've misplaced. Copying CDs into computer files so I don't have to lug more CDs. Downloading every song imaginable according to my mood. Waste time surfing the net and chatting since I'm online. Organising songs into playlists. Get tired of listening to music on the computer and lug my radio into computer room to listen to a radio station.

Books opened in front of me. Files and notes around my books. Staring at all the words in the textbook. NOT reading, just staring with no information flowing into my head. Highlighting every single word. Have fun playing around with the many colours of highlighters I have. Stare through space and daydream. Text message people to ask if they're studying. Waste time talking to people about not studying. Stare at exam timetable. Stare at the dates 24th, 31st, 7th and 10th.

Getting sleepy. So pick up books, files and notes and put it back onto study table in room.

REPEAT THE NEXT DAY.

May I ask- where in seven hells does the actual studying fit in??

I feel like a fucking robot man. Maybe I should change my atmosphere a little. Perhaps I should start studying at the dining table from tommorrow.

Like that would help, a change of tables.

Ergh, I hate hearing people discuss their studying progress. " I've studied Chapters 1-56 and I've done all the past year papers twice!"

Go to hell and fuck yourself while you're there.

At 5 a.m today, our fridge "exploded"-leaking water and flooding our kitchen and dining area.

I found it funny. My parents didn't see the humor in it.

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Went for Syarina's brother's wedding yesterday night and it was so fun! I got to see Mazlina and catch up after so long. I miss just hanging out with girls!! And it was nice to see everyone so dressed up and especially, Syarina-who looked so feminine for once. :P I won't blog about it now till I can post some pics up.

Off to read on the MRP theory. Kill me now.

Coming Out Of Your Skin

I don't know what's worse. Two different situations; one where I know too much for my own good and the other, where I know too little and that's all I'm ever going to know.

But the feeling's the same-helplessness. I can only shut my mouth and let things pass at the moment. My fingers are getting itchy though, just wanting to scratch and dig through everything. Even if it's just for a moment, and I'll just cover it up again and never bring up what I uncovered.

Man, can't believe I'm fussing over trivial teeny itty little things. I just hate that today was incredibly unproductive lah. I shouldn't have gone to college so early! I blame Jo, you left me all alone you beeetccch.

Last day of college tomorrow! NO! One and half years went by way too fast and it's because I had TOO MUCH fun. :) Must bring camera tomorrow. Am also contemplating doing something completely crazy-but I only have an inkling on what so we'll just see.

No more Asia Cafe, no more Melur, no more MAC centre. NO MORE DIM SUM! Oh no. Where will I get my fix?

What Am I On?

OHMYGOD!

http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/harry_potter/thegobletoffire/

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!

*calms down* Wahey! It looks so good. But all trailers always do.

Anyhoo, I have immersed myself in books. So, if you see me online and I don't reply, it means I'm studying but I've got the headphones plugged into the computer so I can listen to my playlist. It's the last week of college! Why isn't anyone more nostalgic about it, man? Sheesh. Everyone's so stressed up with the exams.

Please take a listen to these songs if you know what's good for you (I'm in a sharing mood):

Tiny Vessels-Death Cab For Cutie
On Fire-Switchfoot
Speed of Sound-Coldplay

And drool over this picture of the MAZE in the third task won't you?


http://www.the-leaky-cauldron.org/images/2005/05/maze.html


*Drool* I'm glad Cedric is quite good-looking. And I do realise that I am SUCH A MAJOR GEEK.
But you all still love me anyways lah.

Looking forward to Sunday! Syarina's bro's wedding-only going so I can see my friends and dress up. :) It's a whole gathering coz it seems she invited the whole world. So, I'll see everyone there then!

Highway

I sense an ickle sense of motivation creeping up. I do hope it builds in the next few days! There's nothing more that gets me further than the thought of being able to achieve something special. I feel so enlightened. It must have been the 3 hour nap I just had after classes.

Oo-er, coz I didn't post yesterday,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIAN!

Walau. 14 years of friendship! Jian Li is probably the only person I forsee at this point to still be in my life 10, 20 and even 30 years down the road. She's probably the person that knows me best-up to the point that I'm saved from explaining too much about my thoughts or actions. She doesn't need to hear it, coz she plainly knows it. That's why it's so hard to lie to her! I just can't! And I don't even try. Even out of all my closest friends, I probably see her the least. But when we catch up, we do till the sun goes down. There's nothing too extraordinary about our friendship-we just "click" and get each other. At the end of the day, she's the one that I will always fall back on. :)

You're finally 18, best friend! And it's safe to say, you're all grown up now!

Now, pleaselah, make use of the fact you're 18 and do something that you couldn't do before. :P

I AM SICK.

So don't expect any witty retorts ON being sick; drippy nose, blood shot eyes, phlegmy throat and headaches, because I don't even have the energy to actually write about being sick.

*snort snort sniff*

I think my nose just fell off.