My prayers go out to all those whose lives have been affected by this disaster.

May the whole world pray along as well.

Half Full

I wonder if it's possible to feel nothing at all..and I wonder what that must feel like.

Thank you to all for the birthday wishes!

Age is only a number my babies ;)

Not A Lot Else

It's been ages since the last update due to the crashing of my computer monitor. It had been constantly blinking and blanking out till one day, the foulest of smells exuded from it. I practically kicked the thing away and frantically switched off the whole computer system and now,

RIP COMPUTER MONITOR


My sister came back yesterday, and with her, her laptop! Hurrah!I peeked into her luggage and I could see my present all wrapped up in this sheer paper! I was just going to grab it until my dad pulled me away and said, "Not till your birthday!". Cue my pouty lips.

Okay, I did something pretty bad which was not in any intentional. I was in the guest room putting back some extra towels in the closet when I noticed 2 VERY LARGE PLASTIC BAGS.

1. A plastic bag from D'Nata-the box/gift-wrapping store. Inside was what appeared to be a very big gift box. Intriguing.

2. Underneath it was a very big TOPSHOP bag.

This is where I completely lost it. This is what it must feel like when kids find their Christmas presents once they've searched the whole house. (mind you, I did not find them on purpose!). So yeap, I know what I got for my birthday. Teehee. What sucks is that I now have to pretend to be surprised when I open it tomorrow. Oh well.

Typing on a laptop is a bitch.


SNOWPATROL IS THE SHIT.

Listening to How To Be Dead has the tendency of making the memories in your head resurface in slow motion. It's a bittersweet tune that you can't help but fall in love with.

Please keep your hands down
And stop raising your voice
It's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choice
It's a simple suggestion can you give me sometime
So just say yes or no

Couple-fighting. From the most microscopic things to blown out of proportion events. It's a pickle. But don't you love those fights where both parties are so engrossed in trying to win the fight that in the end- they don't even remember what the whole fuss was about. And then, the issue is dropped just like that!

Then there's also make-up sex, but that's a different story altogether.


But you know what's bugging me right now. When someone dangles a bait in front of you, only to pull back at the last second just when you were about to grab it-this sucks. This might be something similar to what I have posted about before, but this is another step.

*Sigh*

I shall turn to Snowpatrol again.

You're a big boy now so let's not talk about growth
You've not heard a single word I have said...
Oh, my God

On A High

I've made up my mind. I DO NOT want to miss anything at all. Therefore, I shall take my own sweet time. :) Who cares if the world is going too fast? I don't have to. I'll make my own time.

I sound like I've just taken an overdose of HAPPY PILLS.

My fear of heights is a little too overboard and I'm getting so sick of it! I had to dig up my winter clothes that have all been kept in the highest wadrobe cabinet. Hence, I had to carry the ladder all the way up to my mum's room and fish the piles of jackets myself.

I stubbornly kept trying to just stretch my arms as far as I could so I didn't have to take another step on the ladder. But no, my mum kept screeching, "Take another step! It's too high!"
So, I had to.

I got vertigo by just standing on a ladder!! What the fuck is wrong with me?

Evalyn, have a good time in China. Remember what I went through just so you could keep your tits warm.

-----------------------------

And don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are

You grew up way too fast
And now there's nothing to believe
And reruns all become our history

Name-Goo Goo Dolls

So we may steer off course in life sometimes. But there are times we find ourselves being placed in the exact same position as before-either on purpose or accidental. The same position that had caused us to lose ourselves. Maybe it's because we try so hard to rectify our mistakes we don't mind going back and facing it right this time.

When you lose your keys, don't you go back to the last place you left them first before searching anywhere else?

It's All Relative

It's funny how a moment just lasts for a milisecond.
A duration of two weeks feels like two days.
One year going by without even realising it's actually been 12 months since the last new year.

Is it just us feeling this way, or is time flying by too fast? Has too much been happening in our lives that each day goes by quicker? My dad had his old high school friends over and all of them were talking about how the past ten years have been the quickest. Their school days apparently went by really slow.

And all I could think about was, my school days went by too fast--and it's going even faster now! It sucks that I actually have to catch up in this fast lane when I just want to sit back and watch as everything goes on this 'slow motion' mode. I have no time to reflect on any past events because new ones are happening right here, right now. There's no enjoying the moment anymore because there just isn't enough time.

With things going by so fast, don't you feel like you're bound to miss out on something?

An email to my sister regarding my birthday wishlist. I am a spoilt brat. My sister has actually saved up to 50 pounds or more a month while there. My dad says I will exceed my budget by 50 pounds every month when I go.

I can't wait!

this is my wishlist. i don't got no specifics lah. H&M punyer website macam bangang. no catalogue.

1. a babydoll top. those strappy flowy tops that make a person look fat or preggers, in black preferably. taknak too glittery.
2. logo tees as usual. the one you bought for me from topshop is too stretchy and clingy lah the material...it looks long, could ya get me cotton tees instead? does cardiff have any shops that sell vintage punk rock tees? if ya see one, just get me one of that then enough lah..
3. ey! h&m got holiday catalogue! wunderbar! okay, those hotpant panties that are 5.90 would be nice :)
4. a red kimono for 22.90
5. okay, there's this really cute silver beady handbag but there isn't a price..:/ the bag keeps moving around.
6. a pair of pyjamas..if you can get me this, takpayah the kimono. i want a cute one

ey ey..the prices are US dollar. i bet it's actually cheaper in pounds. whahah. you can mix and match! not my fault you've been saving a lot! hehehe. ey, johnny deep looks hella weird as willy wonka! the teaser has this really annoying song that's stuck in my head. sounds like the oompa loompas singing..

7. oo! one of those assymetrical skirts would be nice..i want like a greyish one, something i can match with black, without being black. i wanna wear for new years! coz that day my friend wore a really short skirt in a club, and some dude grabbed her ass..and yeah, i don't want a short skirt lah, knee length would be ok..

so ya can get me like no. 7 with a side of no.3. or 1 with a 5. or 6 with something..ya get the point lah. i want to bum around now! thank you! thank you! sieh sieh! merci boucoup! danke! terima kasih!!

Fits Like A Glove

Last day of college! Feeling happy about it for now, but in a week or two, I'm gonna start pining for dim sum sessions, my milo ais and the cafeteria's curry puffs!

Eileen has serious driving issues. I swear, she will be the cause of my death. We spent 15 minutes looking for a parking spot in Midvalley. Fifteen minutes of Eileen overtaking cars, cursing, almost running down old ladies and driving over the curbs!

When is too much information really too much? I like how I can talk to some of my college girlfriends about certain things that most of my other girlfriends usually cringe about. Like in the car just now, we passed Pantai Hospital and I pointed out to Eileen that,

"Hey, I was born here!"
"Really? I once ........ at the car park right there!"
*silence*

"I once ........ in a movie theather!"

Cue the girlish giggles. Hehe. Not that my other girlfriends are prudes or anything, but I have the tendency of being descriptive. I know they don't admit it, but they like hearing it! I assume so anyway..

This is where most people will list out a number of goals for the holidays. It's a waste of time. No, I will never go through with learning a foreign language. Or, sign up for those kick-boxing classes. Or, lose "so and so" pounds before school starts.

But I do know, that I will have fun. I will not pick up my books, so help me god. I will not worry about my results, so help me god. I will spend time with my family and friends. I will go shopping. I will get my ears re-pierced. I will watch lotsa lotsa movies.

I will learn to drive.

Don't Mention It

These fuckers never dissapoint. I HEART GREEN DAY.

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams- Green Day

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Blvd. of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's effed up and everything's all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

Hooked ever since Dookie, baby.

I am sick. I pray that I will still be sick tomorrow.

Losing My Answers

16 more days till I cross the threshold into adulthood. It comes with mixed feelings.

No longer will I be able to justify my actions by saying, "I'm just a kid!". I would actually have to really think things through beforehand. It's a scary thought.

The euphoria of finally being treated like an adult is overshadowed by the fact that it will never happen. I love being such a kid. Pouting my lips and putting the blame on anyone but myself. Add that to my overly sensitive nature and you get the biggest 10 year old in the world. These childish traits of mine are here to stay.

Probably my most unchildish demeanor would have to be thinking waaay too much. It's times like these that I really wish I was a 10 year old instead. I hate repeating my mistakes. Whoever said you actually learn from your wrong doings knew jack shit. I think I did something yesterday that need not had happen. It went through my head like some sort of record on repeat.

"Don't do it..Don't do it..Don't do it"

But I bloody hell did it anyway! *Wails*

I have to stop doing this to myself. I have to learn to chill big time. Things are always easy till you add more shit onto the pile.

Come to think of it, I am happy too at the way it is. What else do I want?

I Was There

However a good idea wearing stilletoes might be, anything involving heels is NOT a good idea. My leg muscles still hurt. This is from walking all the way from Renaissance and excessive dancing. I should have taken a page out of Far's book and taken off my shoes!

"Where are your shoes? Wait, where are my shoes?!"
*Farwin points under the podium*
"Jesus!"

My Nine West kitty heels left under a crowded podium. The horror.

Summary to how it went down. This is because of David telling me to "blog about it" at the end of the night.

Waiting two hours for Shaun and Galvin. Even sneaked in a quick catnap. Found out later we were the very last people to arrive. Add this to Farwin having to take her IC from her friend in front of Zouk. I was screaming out the window telling her to hurry up. Then parked in Renaissance and got to see fireworks at KL Tower. Run, run, run in my 3-inch heels. Felt so fucking good to say, "My name's on the list." Hawhaw. Upstairs we went. Priscilla and Ronald asking me to sit at their table. Went to sit with Leen and the rest at the next table. Then noticed the reason they wanted me to sit there. Hmm. Someone poured me a drink. Chivas neat. Ergh. Toasts all around. Leen dragging me downstairs with Sher Lyn in tow. Slutted around with the girls. Went upstairs to cut the cake. David getting cake all over his white shirt (told you to wear black). Choon Keet telling me he did me a favour and all went down to dance again. The rest went like this: Dance. Go upstairs. Repeat. Me and Pris trying to touch each other. Getting many "AHEM"s and looks while dancing with him. Shahriz grinning at me like an idiot and Leen pulling my fingers. A pretty high David introducing me to his friends (you stewppid, heard later you did the same to Farwin). Went downstairs one last time to dance. Came back up only to be ambushed and interrogated. Much fun. They'll be more to come on Monday. Three in the morning came and we were shooed out. Long ass goodbyes up front and deciding who will send whom home. Keet saying he'd send us home and making Jia Wei promise she wouldn't throw up in his car. Reached home and died on my bed.

I can't remember the little itty bitty details. Who gives a fuck? The night was filled with good company, good music and good times. I just realised I hadn't had THAT much fun in ages. My god...

Will go back to researching on gay parent families. Someone even asked me, "Do they even exist?". Haha. Yes they do, boy.

Yeah, David and Shaun threw a kick-ass party, surprisingly! Keet and Pris's bungalow bash in January next!

Over-the-top, blown out of proportion melodrama! When will it all end? I feel like I'm in Primary 6 again.

Brain is on holiday mood right now, so no "deep" posts for the next couple of days (or weeks) forecasted.

FRI-I-DAY!! Woohoo! I plan to propel myself into deep canyons of pain because I'm going to wear stilletoes! Two hours before we leave will be spent in the room whoring up. Anis and Farwin will come to the house unprepared as usual.

"Erm, Azy got a lot of clothes right? Just pinjam lah!"

Farwin ended up wearing my brand new Levi's jeans with my top while Anis latched on to another top the last time. Anis will be attracting the weirdest male specimens as usual while hopefully me and Far will find the perfect dance partner again! Numbers will be asked this time!

Wee!


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SHAUN AND DAVID!!!!!